If you’re reading this blog, you’re probably someone who is or aspires to be an amazing lover. Best aspiration ever. Whether during solo play, partnered play, or both, if you aspire for excellence, you’re in the right place ;)
Today we’re covering an exciting practice you can employ to amp up the pleasure factor in the bedroom — edging, also called orgasm control!
By a certain age, most of us have a routine when it *comes* to pleasuring ourselves. Pun intended. We know what we like, and we aim straight for the goal and the goal is typically to make ourselves or each other come. This holds true both while masturbating and while engaging in partnered sex. Of course, there is nothing wrong with going down the beaten path if the results are ultimately satisfactory, but don’t you wonder, sometimes, what it would be like to tease yourself more, take your time, and draw out the pleasure? That’s where edging comes in.
Edging, as its name suggests, involves pleasuring oneself until one reaches the precipice of an orgasm — when you think you’re about to fall off the metaphorical cliff (of pleasure), you stop and wait. Think of the sensations leading to your orgasm like the tides in the ocean: constantly rising and falling, except you’re the one exerting control. You get to decide when that wave crests and crashes down.
Now, all of that sounds well and good, but the question remains — why bother controlling your orgasm when the experience itself, regardless of how long it takes, is as pleasurable as it is? Well, why not? Life is too short to stick to one tried-and-tested method. Moreover, while chasing the short-lived high of an orgasm is wonderful (don’t get us wrong), the pleasure we experience, overall, can be maximized. And we, here, want to help you do that.
Why edge at all?
The benefits of edging are numerous, regardless of your gender or sex. While there is a lack of scientific data on the subject, self-professed “edge-lords, ladies, and non binaries” are more than ready to extoll its virtues to anyone who’d listen.
Men suffering from premature ejaculation often use edging as a way to “last longer”. The act of exerting control over when you orgasm can improve sexual stamina and edging can even intensify the feeling of pleasure one experiences when one ultimately orgasms.
Many women who experience anxiety around sex and sexual activities find edging a calming practice that helps them get more in tune with their body without the pressure of having to achieve an orgasm every single time.
At the end of the day, however, as a practice, edging is all about tuning into your body and drawing out the time you spend experiencing pleasurable sensations. It’s about touch and pleasure, playing and teasing, and ultimately, taking control of when and how you reach peak sexual satisfaction. It’s about putting yourself in the driver’s seat in many ways.
Techniques to help take the edge off:
Learning how to edge is, in many ways, incredibly easy and incredibly difficult because it requires slowing down and withholding what you know will bring you pleasure. But, honestly, that’s the fun part. Trust us, the build up and anticipation you feel as you repeatedly build up to but then hold off on orgasm a few times before ultimately climaxing, coupled with the sheer relief when you finally do, can be a very exhilarating combination.
Here are some techniques you can employ both during your solo-sex sessions and during partnered sex to experience it for yourself.
1. The Start-Stop Technique: This technique is aimed more at penis owners. As we mentioned before, we all get set in our routines when it comes to sex. Penis owners tend to fall into the cycle of stimulating themselves quickly and efficiently during solo sex to bang out an orgasm in the shortest time possible and also orgasm more quickly during partnered penetrative sex. One of the oldest techniques in the book to prolong the time till climax, in this case, is to simply stop stimulating yourself when you get close — hit the pause button on those hands or those hips, and think of England.
2. The Meditative Countdown: This technique is useful for all individuals. Simply put, right when you think you’re about to orgasm, take your hands off and count to ten. In these ten seconds, the aim is to focus on your breath and get your heart rate under control. Think of it as a mini-meditation session in the middle of sex. It helps you calm down and once again zone into your body as you begin sexually stimulating yourself again.
3. Use a toy: This sounds counterintuitive. After all, most of us use toys to get off faster but hear us out. Toys, afford you a bit more control because you can quite literally turn the pleasure off with the click of a button. And it's not just your friendly neighbourhood vibrators coming to the rescue — toys like cock rings can also help penis owners last longer as they edge.
4. Shift gears: There are different forms of pleasurable touch. Use them. When you’re about to climax, shift gears and soften your touch. Slow down and introduce gentler movements instead of being swept away in the fast, frenetic energy of orgasm-chasing, and draw out those pleasurable sensations. Simultaneously, move your hands and attention towards other erogenous zones and explore your body before, once again, turning your attention downwards.
When you come down to it, however, the technique really doesn't matter as long as you are enjoying the process. So lie down and experiment! If you’re trying something new with your partner, make sure to communicate that edging is something you want to try together, so they understand what you’re upto! Remember, this is all about maximizing pleasure and taking control, not about any type of shame or denial around orgasm or ejaculation. So go out there and have fun with it! Spice up your sex life and treat yourself to some well-earned, mind-blowing orgasms.