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About Us
Remember when your biggest life crisis was deciding whether to text your ex "happy birthday" or pretend they ceased to exist? Plot twist: you haven't thought about their birthday in three months.
Congratulations! You might actually be over them. But before you download Tinder and her ten dozen cousins every dating app known to humanity, let's make sure you're truly ready to dive back into the wild world of modern romance.
There's a special kind of freedom that comes with realizing your ex is now just... a person. Not the villain in your origin story, not the one who got away just someone who happened to share Netflix passwords with you once upon a time. If that sounds familiar, you might be ready to get back out there. But how can you tell for sure?
Learning how to get over a breakup isn't like following a recipe there's no universal timeline that magically transforms heartbreak into happiness. But there are five telltale signs that you've graduated from the School of Hard Breakups and are ready to enroll in Dating 101 again. Here we go in no particular order:
1. You Don't Secretly Hope They'll Come Back
We've all been that person: refreshing their Instagram story at 2 AM, wondering if that cryptic song lyric was meant for you. But here's the thing when you're truly ready to move on from a breakup, you stop waiting for the Netflix rom-com reunion that probably isn't coming.
Sure, you might always have a soft spot for the person who introduced you to that amazing Japanese place in town. But there's a difference between fond memories and holding onto hope that they'll realize you were "the one" after all. When you can genuinely wish them well without secretly hoping they'll come crawling back, that's growth, and it's one of the clearest signs of how to move on after a breakup successfully.
Pro Tip: If you catch yourself crafting the perfect Instagram story to make them jealous, you're not quite there yet and that's totally fine! Think of it as your heart's way of saying it needs a little more love before it's ready to go partying again.
2. Meeting New People Feels Exciting
Remember when the thought of small talk with a stranger made you want to hibernate until further notice? That bone-deep exhaustion you felt at the mere mention of dating apps? When you're ready to put yourself back out there, meeting new people starts to feel less like emotional labour and more like a genuine possibility.
Maybe you're actually looking forward to that blind date your friend set up. Or you find yourself enjoying the pre-date ritual—picking out an outfit that makes you feel confident, creating the perfect getting-ready playlist, and wondering what stories you'll swap over dinner.
The key difference? You're doing it because you want to explore what's out there, not because you're trying to fill a void or prove something to anyone (including your ex).
Pro Tip: If you're swiping purely to distract yourself from missing them, pause. Your future amazing connection deserves the full, present you—not the "trying to forget someone else" version.
3. You Stop Comparing Everyone to Your Ex
New match doesn't text back immediately like they used to? They prefer running marathons (gasp) over Amazon Prime and Dine? Their sense of humor is more dry wit than goofy puns? When you're truly ready to date again, these differences stop feeling like dealbreakers and start feeling like... well, just differences.
It's natural to notice how new people stack up against what you're used to. But when you can appreciate someone for who they are (quirks and all) rather than how closely they resemble your romantic past, you're in a much healthier headspace. This is often the turning point when wondering "how do I get over a breakup" becomes less about forgetting the past and more about embracing new possibilities.
This also means you're not exclusively swiping right on people who look like your ex's doppelganger or have the same job/hobbies/coffee order at Blue Tokai. You're open to discovering what you didn't even know you wanted.
Pro Tip: If you find yourself thinking "my ex would never" more than "this is interesting," pull the brakes. Your heart is just asking for a little more healing time before it's ready to discover all the wonderful surprises waiting out there!
4. The Little Reminders Don't Hurt Anymore
That restaurant where you had your first date? You can walk by without your stomach dropping. Their favorite song comes on during your workout? It's just a song with a good beat now. You spot someone wearing their signature cologne on the subway? Mildly nostalgic, but not earth-shattering.
Here's what this looks like in practice: You can scroll past their Instagram story without needing to screenshot it for forensic analysis with your friends. You don't immediately change the radio station when "your song" comes on. You might even find yourself laughing at inside jokes that once felt too sacred to share with anyone else.
Those intense emotional reactions the ones that used to derail your entire day become lighter, more fleeting. You're not pretending they never existed, but they're not running your emotional show anymore. This emotional resilience is a major milestone in learning how to get over someone you love.
Pro Tip: Healing isn't about feeling nothing that would be boring! It's about feeling things without letting them hijack your whole vibe. You're basically becoming emotionally untouchable in the best way possible.
5. You're Okay With Them Finding Someone New
This one's the final boss of moving on. You probably won't be throwing them a congratulatory party when they post couple photos, but you're also not plotting their new partner's demise or spiraling into self-doubt. When you're truly ready to date again, you can acknowledge that your ex is allowed to find happiness with someone else even if it stings a little. You're not frantically trying to "win" by jumping into something serious just to prove you're doing fine.
Instead, you recognize that they're living their life, and you're free to live yours. Their choices don't dictate your worth or your timeline for finding love again. Reaching this level of acceptance is perhaps the most definitive answer to "how to get over a break" completely.
Pro Tip: If seeing them with someone new makes you want to couple up with the next person who shows interest immediately, you might need a little more solo time. And honestly? Solo time is underrated you get to rediscover all the amazing things about you that have nothing to do with anyone else!
Ready to Jump Back In?
The tricky part? We're often our own harshest critics when it comes to healing timelines. Maybe you feel guilty for being ready to date again after just a few months, or frustrated that you're still not there after a full year. But here's what relationship experts know that we sometimes forget: there's no universal clock ticking down your recovery period.
Some people bounce back in weeks; others need much longer to fully process what they've lost. Both are completely normal. What matters most is being honest with yourself about where you actually are, not where you think you should be.
When you start noticing the signs above when thoughts of your ex don't hijack your day, when meeting someone new feels exciting rather than exhausting that's your cue. The dating pool will be there whenever you're ready to dive in, and the transition back will feel natural rather than forced.
No diving board necessary just a genuine desire to see what's out there and the emotional bandwidth to show up as your full, authentic self.
The rest? That's just the fun part.
