How to Gift a Massager Without Ruining Everything
It's 2 AM, and you're three glasses of wine deep into an online shopping spiral, your cursor hovering over that sleek little massage toy with 4.8 stars and very promising reviews. Your brain is ping-ponging between "this could be an amazing gift" and "what if they think I'm a total weirdo?" Welcome to the modern dating dilemma nobody talks about at brunch.
Giving someone a thoughtful, intimate wellness gift is actually the ultimate power move-when you know what you're doing. Think of this as your cheat sheet for navigating the wild world of (pleasure-positive) gift-giving without accidentally becoming the subject of someone's therapy session.
Or their fist.

Tip #1. Know Your Audience
First up: crowd control. This isn't a "spread the love to everyone" situation. Your massage toy gift list should be shorter than your attention span in school-we're talking current partners and those best friends who already know your coffee order, your Netflix password, and that embarrassing thing that happened in 2015 (Let’s face it, we’ve all done something embarrassing in 2015).
The golden rule? If they haven't seen you ugly-cry or don't know your most mortifying dating stories, they're not massage toy gift material. This includes Sahil from IT (no matter how cute he is), your yoga instructor (boundaries, people), and not your boss, who you think is "sorta chill."
Hard pass list: Anyone you're trying to impress romantically, family members (please, for the love of god), and coworkers. A massage toy is not a conversation starter-it's a conversation continuer for people who are already way past small talk.
Pro Tip: The "Would I be comfortable if they gifted me one back?" test works wonders. If the thought makes you want to change your name and move to a different city, they're not on the list.

Tip #2. Have The Talk Before You Walk The Wal

Tip #3. Manage Your Expectations-It’s About Them, Not You.
Some people love sharing their adventures, others prefer flying solo, and some need six months to even think about using it. All of these responses are totally valid, and your job is to be the chillest person in the room about whatever they choose.
This is especially crucial for romantic partners. Don't gift a sexual massager with secret expectations that it becomes your new favorite party trick. That's not a gift-that's a homework assignment with a bow on it. A pretty bow, yes, but it doesn’t stop it from becoming a homework assignment.
Pro Tip: Frame it as a one-way ticket to their personal pleasure town. If they choose to make it a group activity later, that's a bonus round, not the main game.
Tip #4 There’s A Time And Place For Everything
Location, location, location. The where and when of your grand reveal can make the difference between "thoughtful friend" and "person who traumatized me at my birthday party." A massage toy unwrapped in front of your partner's parents? That's not a surprise-that's a horror movie waiting to happen.
Public presentations are only okay if you're 100% sure everyone present would high-five you for the choice. Think a small group of ride-or-die friends who've already discussed way more intimate topics than this. When in doubt, keep it private.
The sweet spot? A relaxed evening when you have time to actually talk about it. This isn't a grab-the-gift-and-run situatio-it deserves a proper conversation in a comfortable setting. Bonus if it involves a bedroom (strictly for lovers).
Pro Tip: If you're questioning the venue, go private. You can always tell the story later, but you can't un-awkward a weird public moment.
Tip #5: Discretion Is Key, Babygirls
Let's talk about the elephant in the room-or rather, the discreetly packaged massage toy that shouldn't become the elephant in the room. Most reputable retailers (like us) have figured out that nobody wants their intimate wellness purchases announced to the entire neighborhood, so they typically ship in plain, unmarked boxes. But double-check this before ordering, because surprises are only fun when they're the right kind.
When it comes to your actual gift presentation, think sophisticated, not scandalous. A nice gift bag or elegant box shows you put thought into the whole experience, not just the main event. Skip the novelty wrapping paper with suggestive graphics-we're going for "thoughtful wellness gift" vibes, not "bachelor party gag gift" energy.
The beauty of private gifting? It might just set the perfect mood for an immediate test drive if everyone's feeling the moment. But no pressure-that's just a delightful possibility, not an expectation.
Pro Tip: Good packaging shows you respect both the gift and the recipient. Plus, classy presentation makes the whole experience feel more luxurious and less like you grabbed something random off the internet at 3 AM (even if you totally did).

How Do You Choose The Right Gift?
Now for the fun part-actually picking something that doesn't suck. Material quality is your best friend here, and not just because we're fancy like that.
- Body-safe silicone is the gold standard-it's soft, easy to clean, and won't turn into a bacterial disco party like cheaper alternatives.
- Steer clear of anything that feels sketchy or smells weird. If the product description includes words like "jelly" or "realistic skin-feel" made from mystery materials, keep scrolling. Your person deserves better than a massage toy that might need its own antibiotic prescription.
- For massage toy newbies, start with something approachable-think elegant external massager rather than anything that looks like it requires an engineering degree. If they're more experienced, consider what might add something fresh to their collection instead of duplicating their greatest hits.

Why Intimate Massagers Are Actually Relationship MVPs
Here's something we’ve told you before: a good massage toy is like hiring a really talented personal assistant for intimate moments. Here's why these little powerhouses deserve VIP status:
- They're the ultimate wingman: Never gets tired, never needs a pep talk, always shows up ready to work. It's like having backup that actually knows what it's doing.
- Anatomy has limits, technology doesn't: Some spots are tricky to reach or stimulate simultaneously. Your massager becomes the extra hand (or tongue, or whatever) that makes complex pleasure combinations possible.
- Timing is everything: One person is ready in thirty seconds, the other needs thirty minutes? Your body massager bridges that gap without anyone feeling rushed or left out.
- Pressure's off, pleasure's on: When consistent stimulation is handled, you both get to focus on connection and exploration instead of worrying about technique perfection (or stamina).
- Solo adventures get an upgrade: Hands-free operation, specific vibration patterns, and experiences that are literally impossible to achieve manually. It's not replacing anything (although sign us up for replacing boyfriends)—it's unlocking new levels.
- It's relationship diplomacy in action: Helps sync different arousal speeds and preferences without awkward negotiations or anyone feeling inadequate.
Do You Have Everything They Need?
Sometimes, a massage toy can't be used directly out of the box (we'd suggest you clean it first in any case, because fresh starts are everything). Be sure if the sensation you're looking for requires an accessory you purchase together, or if the toy you're buying is penetrative, that you also get some lube.
Nothing is worse than the joy of receiving a massage toy and the defeat of realizing there's no lube to use it with-it's like getting a beautiful new car but not fuelling it with petrol.
If you aren't sure what their perfect combination is, check out some cool bundles, perfectly assembled for maximum pleasure. These curated sets take the guesswork out of accessory shopping and show you actually thought this through.
Pro Tip: Complete gifts show you know what you're doing. Nobody wants to unwrap something amazing only to realize it's missing its essential co-star (no, we’re not talking about you).

Nailing The Big Reveal
The actual handover doesn't have to feel like a scene from an awkward rom-com if you approach it with the right energy. Keep things positive and mature-this is a thoughtful gift, not something to giggle about like you're twelve.
A sweet note can work wonders here. Something like "I saw this and thought you might enjoy some extra self-care" hits the right tone without getting too detailed. It shows you care about their happiness without making assumptions about how they'll use it.
If you're giving it to a romantic partner, you can acknowledge that you hope it brings them joy, whether that's solo or potentially shared (with you, hopefully). This respects their boundaries while keeping the door open for future possibilities-basically the perfect balance. You’re welcome.
Pro Tip: Your confidence sets the temperature for their reaction. Go in with warm, positive energy, and they're way more likely to match that vibe.
happening" and move on to safer gift territory. Like coffee mugs. Or candles.

The Bottom Line
Look, gifting a massage toy is the ultimate "I want you to feel amazing" power move—when you don't completely mess up the execution. Follow this guide, and you'll nail the sweet spot between thoughtful and weird, which is honestly a life skill that applies way beyond intimate wellness gifts. You're not just handing someone a toy; you're potentially unlocking their confidence to explore what feels good, and if it's for a romantic partner, you might just open the door to some very interesting conversations.
Some people will love it immediately, others need six months to even look at it, and some prefer their pleasure journey to be a solo adventure. All totally valid. What matters is that you're coming from genuine care, not weird expectations or your agenda.
Whether it becomes their new favorite Tuesday night ritual or lives in a drawer until they're ready, you've contributed to the "let's normalize feeling good" movement, and honestly, that's pretty cool.
Just like your gift-giving skills.
About the author:
Author of the most comprehensive dating guide for gay men, Aniruddha Mahale is a columnist who mines his romantic (mis)adventures to write about modern love, sex, and relationships. With bylines in Buzzfeed, GQ Magazine, Homegrown, and Huffington Post, Mahale is currently working on his third novel (when he’s not working on his macro splits).