How to Bring Sex Toys Into The Bedroom

How to Bring Sex Toys Into The Bedroom (PS: Without Making It Awkward)

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Raise your hand if you've ever had this internal monologue: "Should I bring up using a sex toy together, or will they think I'm implying they're not enough?" First off, breathe. Second, your sexual massager isn't a commentary on your partner's sexual skills—it's an upgrade to your shared experience. Think of it as adding surround sound to your Netflix setup: good was fine, but amazing is better.

First, why use sex toys?

Before we dive into the hows and whats, let's talk about the important stuff: why bother with toys at all? Here's the deal—sex toys aren't a replacement for mindblowing "I-think-I-just-curled-my-toes" sex, they're the premium upgrade. Think of your sexual massager as the difference between streaming music on your phone speaker versus investing in quality headphones. Both work, but one delivers an experience that makes you wonder how you ever lived without it.

The science backs this up, too. Most people with vaginas need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, and sometimes fingers and tongues need backup dancers. A reliable massager for women isn't admitting defeat—it's acknowledging that pleasure comes in many forms, and variety is the spice of life. That’s like the first rule of feminism.

Pro Tip:  Stop asking "Do we need this?" and start asking "Why wouldn't we want this?" It's a total mindset shift that makes the conversation way easier.

Why sex toys are the perfect third in your relationship

Here’s something you probably didn’t know: introducing a sex toy into your relationship is like adding a really talented backup singer to your duo—suddenly everyone sounds better. If you’re still on the fence, worry not—here's why your device deserves VIP status in your bedroom dynamics:

It fills the gaps where anatomy can't: Some spots are just hard to reach or stimulate simultaneously. Your massage toy becomes the extra hand (or tongue, or whatever) that makes complex pleasure combinations possible instead of requiring circus-level flexibility.

It levels the playing field: One partner ready to go in thirty seconds, while the other needs twenty minutes of buildup? Your sexual massager can bridge that gap, helping sync your rhythms without anyone feeling rushed or left behind.

It takes performance pressure off both of you: When your body massager handles the consistent stimulation, you both get to focus on connection, exploration, and all the fun stuff that makes sex amazing instead of worrying about technique perfection.

It opens doors to experiences you literally can't have otherwise: Double penetration, specific vibration patterns, hands-free stimulation during oral—some pleasures are only possible with the right tools, and that's not a limitation, it's an expansion pack.

Pro Tip:  Lead with "This isn't about you, it's about us having more fun together." Works every time.

Your massage toy becomes the extra hand

1. Make sure everyone is on board

Now that we've established why toys deserve a spot in your bedside drawer, let's talk about getting your partner excited about the idea. This might involve an actual conversation (I know, groundbreaking). But here's a little secret: talking about sex toys with your partner is usually way less awkward than your anxiety brain predicts. Most people are curious about pleasure, even if they haven't vocalized it yet (and no, “can I spank you?” doesn’t count.)

Start simple. Maybe mention an article you read (hi, this one) or bring it up during a relaxed moment (like when you’re having ice cream), not mid-fight when everything feels high-stakes. Frame it as an exploration, not a problem-solving exercise. "I've been curious about trying something new together," hits differently than "Our current situation needs fixing."

Some people worry that introducing toys means their partner isn't satisfied. It's like thinking ordering appetizers means the main course isn't good enough. More pleasure doesn't equal less satisfaction with what you already have. On that note, have you met our Lover’s Bundle?

Pro Tip:  Too nervous to bring it up face-to-face? Send a text with a link to something you're curious about. Let the internet do the heavy lifting.

Make sure everyone is on board

2. Shop for a toy together

This is where things get exciting. Shopping for a massage toy together is like planning a vacation—half the fun is in the anticipation. Every time you’re sifting through page after page of potential sex toys, you're essentially creating a wish list for your shared pleasure.
Online shopping gives you privacy to discuss what appeals to you without worrying about other people overhearing your "would this work in that position we tried last week?" conversations. You can bookmark options, read reviews together, and build anticipation while you wait for delivery—some cool websites even help you make the right decisions.

Pro tip: Approach this like any other purchase where you both have opinions. You wouldn't buy a couch without discussing it—same energy here.

3. Stimulate yourself first

Now for the main event. Here's the simplest way to start: use your toy exactly like you would alone, except now you have an audience (the best kind). Your partner can watch, help control it, or get busy with other fun stuff while you handle what you know works.

During penetration? Total game-changer. Instead of playing angle roulette, hoping everything lines up perfectly, just grab your compact vibrator and take charge. They focus on their thing, you handle yours, everybody's happy. It's like having a wingman who never gets distracted.

Don't stress about positions—some work better than others for toy access, but figuring that out is half the adventure.

Pro Tip:  "A little to the left" isn't criticism—it's GPS for pleasure. Navigate accordingly.

Stimulate yourself first

4. Go remote

Remote control toys? Pure evil genius. You can mess with your partner while they're trying to focus on other things, or hand over the controls and see what happens. It's the ultimate power exchange wrapped in a tiny device—like our naughty little Natkhat (she comes wrapped in a satin bag).

App-controlled versions let you terrorize each other from different rooms—or different time zones if you're long-distance. (Don't use these during work meetings. Be adults.)

The real fun starts when you take turns. One minute you're in charge, the next you're completely at their mercy. Trust me, the anticipation alone will drive you both insane.

Pro tip: Master the basics before you start attempting advanced remote control wizardry. Walk before you fly, people.

Remote control toys

5. Experiment, experiment, experiment

Here's where most people limit themselves: they think massage toys only work in one specific way. Wrong. Your body massager is basically a multi-tool for pleasure, and honestly, the journey to your main destination can be just as thrilling as the arrival.

Start your exploration session by using your new toy everywhere except the obvious places. Run it along the arms, trace the collarbones, and experiment with different pressures on various parts of your body. You're not just introducing a sex toy to your relationship—you're adding a whole new dimension to how you experience touch together.

This approach also takes pressure off the "performance" aspect. When you're just playing and exploring, there's no goal except figuring out what feels good. Plus, building anticipation while you slowly work your way around each other's bodies? That's foreplay gold.

Pro Tip: The "we'll use this here later" tension while you're exploring everywhere else? Chef's kiss level foreplay.

Play with all of your senses

6. Play with all of your senses

Your sexual massager is just the beginning of sensation exploration—think of it as the gateway drug to a whole world of sensory experiences. Temperature play transforms the experience in ways that'll make your toes curl. Run metal toys under warm or cold water before use. The contrast between cool metal and warm skin creates intensity you can't achieve otherwise.

But why stop there? Combine your massage toy with other sensory experiences. Blindfolds make every touch more intense because your brain has to guess what's coming next. Different textures, temperatures, and pressures create a full-body experience that goes way beyond traditional expectations.

This is where creativity becomes your best friend. Your bedroom isn't just about genitals—it's about creating experiences that engage multiple senses simultaneously. The goal is to overwhelm in the best possible way.

Pro Tip:  Test temperature on your wrist first—what feels perfect there won't shock your more sensitive areas later.

7. Find ways to reverse roles

Here's where things get really spicy: toys create opportunities for role reversals that might not otherwise exist. Maybe the person who usually receives penetration gets to use a strap-on. Perhaps someone typically dominant explores being more submissive. Your massager for men or women opens doors to experiences you might not have considered, and sometimes the best discoveries happen when you step outside your comfort zone.

This isn't about changing who you are—it's about expanding what you can experience together. Think of it as sexual role-playing where everyone gets to try on different versions of themselves. Some of the best sexual discoveries happen when you temporarily step outside your usual patterns, and toys make these explorations feel safer and more accessible.

Pro Tip: Go in curious, not committed. You're exploring, not signing a lease on a new sexual identity.

8. Masturbate together

Don't forget about simultaneous solo play. Using your respective massage toys while together creates incredible intimacy without requiring coordination, and there's something beautifully vulnerable about pleasuring yourself while your partner does the same.

This approach works especially well when you want to climax together but have different timing or stimulation needs. Everyone gets exactly what they need while sharing the experience. Plus, watching each other is like getting a masterclass in what really works for your partner—information you can definitely use later.

Pro Tip:  This is basically live-action sex education. You're learning while getting off—it's the perfect combo.

The Bottom Line

Bringing sex toys into your relationship isn't rocket science—it's about adding more ways to feel good together. Your sexual massager, body massager, or whatever you choose to call it, isn't solving a problem. It's enhancing an experience.

The key is approaching the whole thing with curiosity instead of anxiety. You're not fixing anything broken; you're upgrading something that already works. And honestly? In a world full of complications, why not choose the path that leads to more pleasure, better communication, and stronger intimacy?

Start small, communicate openly, and remember that the best sexual experiences happen when everyone involved feels comfortable exploring what feels good. Your massage toy might just become the best addition to your relationship since you learned each other's coffee orders.

Final Pro Tip:  The only real mistake? Not talking about it. Everything else is just figuring out your preferences—and that's the fun part.