How to Choose Your First Dildo (And Actually Enjoy It)

Listen, we get it. Browsing online for your first dildo feels like you've been dropped into the middle of a foreign country where everyone speaks fluent Pleasure, and you're still working on basic vocabulary (without Duolingo to help you out). There are dragon shapes. There are vegetables. Some things look like they belong in a modern art museum, not your nightstand.

But here's what we've learned after years of writing about sex and fielding approximately one million questions about first-time toy shopping: choosing a dildo doesn't have to feel like solving a Rubik's cube blindfolded. You just need to know what to look for, what to avoid, and what advice? 

Browse the best online retailers you know and read their product descriptions thoroughly. Look at customer photos if available. Check the dimensions carefully—most sites list length and girth measurements. If that's not an option, read reviews obsessively. Real people sharing real experiences will tell you everything the product description won't.

Why a Dildo Beats a Boyfriend (And We Have Receipts)

Before we dive into the how-to, let's address the elephant in the bedroom: why choose a dildo at all? Well, friend, let us count the ways.

It never finishes before you do. 

According to research, heterosexual women orgasm during partnered sex only 65% of the time, compared to 95% during solo play. Your dildo? Perfect track record. Zero performance anxiety. Every. Single. Time.

It doesn't need a pep talk. 

No "are you sure you're in the mood?" conversations. No waiting for it to recharge. No explaining exactly what you need for the seventeenth time. Your dildo shows up ready to work, no emotional labor required on your end.

It comes in your preferred size. 

Too big? Too small? Goldilocks had three bears to choose from. You have hundreds of options. Plus, your dildo won't get its ego bruised if you decide to size up (or down).

It's always available. 

2 AM and can't sleep? Your dildo doesn't complain about being tired. Weekend afternoon with the house to yourself? It's ready. No scheduling conflicts, no "not right now, baby, I have to be up early tomorrow."

It never ghosts you. 

Once you find the right one, it's yours. No mixed signals. No breadcrumbing. No wondering if it's going to text back. Just consistent, reliable pleasure on your terms.

Storage? Way easier than a relationship. 

Fits in a drawer. Doesn't leave its socks on your floor. Doesn’t pee all over the toilet seat after repeated instructions not to. Won't eat the leftover pizza you were saving.

Look, we're not saying ditch human connection entirely. But your dildo is never going to disappoint you by falling asleep halfway through, and that's worth celebrating. Plus, the multitasking potential is unmatched—your dildo pairs beautifully with all the lovely things you want to do with yor partner when you're ready for that level-up.

Now, let's get you equipped. First, we’ll handle the three basics: size, material and shape.

Size: No, Bigger Isn't Better

If there's one piece of advice we could tattoo on every beginner's forehead, it's this: start small. We know, we know—boring advice. But think about what you're already comfortable with. A finger or two? A tampon? That's your baseline.

If you're new to penetration, look for toys not much wider than a finger or two. Your body needs time to adjust, and jumping straight to something the size of a wine bottle is a recipe for discomfort, not orgasms.

Think of it like learning to swim. You don't dive into the deep end on day one. You wade in gradually, get comfortable, then work your way up. The same principle applies here.

Pro Tip:  Grab a ruler and measure what feels right. Yes, really. It sounds unsexy, but so is ordering something online that arrives looking like it was designed for someone with entirely different anatomy.

Material: Matters More Than You Think

The material section of any sex toy site can look like a science lab exploded. Silicone, glass, stainless steel, ceramic, ABS plastic—it's a lot. But here's the breakdown that'll save you a headache (and possibly a yeast infection).

Go for these:

• Silicone: Soft, body-safe, easy to clean, and perfect if you want something that feels lifelike without being, well, too lifelike.

• Glass or stainless steel: Sleek, hard, gorgeous to look at, and excellent for temperature play (run it under warm or cold water first).

• Ceramic: Less common but still body-safe options that won't irritate your bits.

Run far away from these:

• Jelly, rubber, or PVC: These materials often contain phthalates and can harbor bacteria like a petri dish. Not cute. Not safe. Not worth it. Stick to eco-friendly, body-safe materials every single time. Your vagina deserves better than sketchy chemicals.

Pro Tip:  If a toy smells strongly of chemicals out of the box, that's your cue to return it. Body-safe materials shouldn't smell like you accidentally ordered a car tire.

Different Shapes of Dildos: More Than Just Aesthetic

Dildos come in every shape imaginable. Curved, straight, ribbed, smooth, tentacle-themed (yes, really), and everything in between. But shape isn't just about looks—it's about function.

Curved dildos are fantastic for targeting the G-spot or prostate. Textured options with ridges or bumps add extra sensation. If you're planning to use it hands-free in the shower, look for one with a suction cup base. (Game changer, by the way.)

Once you've got the basics down, think about what you want your toy to accomplish. A curved tip? Perfect for G-spot or P-spot stimulation. A tapered design that goes from a wider base to a slimmer tip? Ideal for anal play since it eases penetration. An entirely straight shaft? Great for depth and straightforward thrusting. The shape you choose should match your goals, whether that's hitting specific spots or just enjoying consistent pressure.

Pro Tip:  If you're buying for anal play, make sure your toy has a flared base. Non-negotiable. Without it, things can get lost, and trust us, explaining that to an ER doctor is not the bonding experience you're looking for.

Are Dildos Realistic or Nah?

Let's talk about the penis-shaped elephant in the room. Some dildos look like they were modeled after an actual anatomy textbook—complete with veins, texture, and yes, sometimes even balls. Others look like they came from a designer's fever dream: sleek, abstract, and decidedly non-phallic.

Neither choice is better or worse. It's purely about what turns you on (or doesn't weird you out). If you're planning to use your toy with a male partner and think a realistic dildo might create awkward energy, consider going for something more abstract—think glass, smooth silicone, or even fun colors like purple or teal.

But if realism is your thing? Embrace it. You can find dildos in every size imaginable, curved or straight, with or without testicles, and some even have retractable foreskin (wild, we know). The beauty of online shopping is that whatever specific visual you're into, it exists. Someone out there designed it, and you can buy it discreetly from the comfort of your couch.

Pro Tip: If you're unsure about realism, start with a non-realistic option in a fun color. It tends to feel less intimidating for beginners and integrates itself in the bedroom without anyone's ego staging a protest.

How To Decide and How To Use Your Dildo?

Before you click "add to cart," ask yourself a few questions:

• Am I using this for vaginal or anal play?

• Do I want it to feel firm or flexible?

• Will I use it solo, with a partner, or both?

• Do I want it for handheld fun or as a strap-on?
  

Your answers will narrow down your options fast. If you're exploring anal, start smaller than you think you need. If you're into pegging with a partner, you'll want a harness-compatible toy. If you're going solo and want versatility, something with a suction cup offers multiple position options.

Pro Tip:  If you're planning to share toys with a partner, look for non-porous materials like silicone that can be properly sterilized between uses. Sharing is caring, but bacteria is not a love language.

Rule #1: Don't Sleep on Add-Ons 

Some dildos vibrate. Some rotate. Some have a "come hither" motion that mimics fingers. It's tempting to go full tech mode and buy the most feature-packed toy on the market, but here's the thing: start simple.

A basic, well-made dildo will teach you what you like. Once you know your preferences, do you like deep strokes or shallow? Firm pressure or gentle?—then you can level up to fancier models.

That said, if dual stimulation sounds appealing, rabbit-style vibrators that combine penetration with clitoral stimulation are wildly popular for a reason. Just know that vibrating toys aren't for everyone. Some people find the sensation amazing; others feel queasy or disconnected from it. Bodies are weird and wonderful like that.

Pro Tip: For your first purchase, aim for the ₹2,500-₹4,000 range. It's the sweet spot between "I won't cry if this doesn't work out" and "this won't give me a rash."

Rule #2: Lube Is Your Best Friend (Seriously, Use It)

We don't care how wet you think you are—use lube. It makes everything smoother, more comfortable, and way more pleasurable. Sometimes, it also makes things tastier. But not all lubes play nice with all materials.

The golden rules:

• Water-based lube works with everything and is your safest bet.

• Silicone lube feels luxurious but breaks down silicone toys. Keep them separate.

• Skip anything with glycerin, which can throw off your pH balance.

Pro Tip:  Apply lube to both yourself and the toy. Reapply as needed. There's no such thing as too much lube—only regret and friction burns.

Rule #3: Clean It (Every. Single. Time.)

After your fun, clean your toy with an eco-friendly toy cleaner or gentle soap and water. Every time. No exceptions. Skipping this step invites bacteria, pH imbalances, and infections—none of which are sexy. We know this great brand that makes excellent body-safe cleaners. Keep one next to your bed so there's no excuse.

Pro Tip:  If your toy is compatible (silicone, glass, or steel), you can also boil it for extra sterilization. Just set a timer. Nobody needs to explain to their roommate why there's a dildo in the pasta pot.

Rule #4: Aftercare Isn't Just for BDSM

Taking care of yourself after using a toy—especially for the first time—is important. Hydrate. If you're sore, add more lube next time or size down. Vulva salves can soothe any irritation.

If you're playing with a partner, check in with each other. What felt good? What didn't? That post-play conversation isn't awkward—it's how you make the next time even better.

Pro Tip:  Keep a water bottle and some moisturizing wipes on your nightstand. Post-orgasm logistics are way easier when you don't have to army-crawl to the bathroom.

The Bottom Line

Choosing your first dildo is part research, part intuition, and part trial and error. Start small. Stick to body-safe materials. Use lube generously. Clean it properly. And remember: this is about your pleasure.

If your first purchase isn't perfect, that's okay. Think of it as reconnaissance for your next one. You're learning what your body likes, and that's valuable information no matter how many tries it takes.

And hey, worst-case scenario? You end up with a drawer full of options for every mood. Some people collect shoes. You're collecting orgasms. We know which hobby has better returns.

Happy shopping, and may your battery life be long, your orgasms real, and your deliveries discreet.